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CannonCreepies all: Thank you.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
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All my brothers are married. The youngest, Robbie, got married in August of last year. He was 21 when he got married. I am 26, and I live alone in a 3rd floor bachelor’s pad in the center of Cebu City. I’ve got a laundrywoman who complains about the pains of being a single mother, and a building manager that who rants about the noise coming from my room, in the middle of the night. I’m an editor for two online newsletters with subscribers from across the globe. I’ve got a pet cactus that I call Berto (although I don’t even know what kind of cactus it is --- it's small, knobby, and has no spines at all!). I’ve got a mountain bike (5-speed, I think, I don’t know.) that I use to go to work. It’s a ten-minute bike ride to work, through rows of boardinghouses and commercial buildings.
At the end of the day, I hang out at the Lizard Lounge, with a couple of old college buddies and friends I made from companies I used to work at. We talk about work, about the girls we’re going out with at the moment, what positions make for the best intimate experience, old college jokes, random farts, and about going to Toledo for some wall climbing on some far-off weekend.
Then I go home. If I’m not drunk, I turn on some Bob Marley or RATM, depending on my mood, and log in some writing. I also write for a local mag, just for practice and for the fun of it. Around 3AM, I turn in for the day.
I bet that you’re thinking, I’ve got a pretty lame, if not pathetic, lifestyle. I’d tell you to your face that it wouldn’t surprise me if you were a little bit jealous of my place in the sun. I’ve been living alone since I was 19, and I’m pretty sure that I’ve had enough practice. Acquaintances and friends have come up to me and said, “Man, it’s soooo cool that you live alone. And single? ! Think of all the parties and girls --- Man, that’s cooool!” But I think that expression a wee bit childish.
The reality is, a lot of people, especially among my peers, are wondering why I’m not married yet --- You know what I mean. My older brother, Kenny, says that being single is simply a phase everyone goes through before they start thinking about marriage and that what I’m doing right now is actually just playing the field before I do settle down to spread my seed. I really don’t agree with that. Sure, every now and then, I would want to have someone to go with to some fancy place for dinner, perhaps a movie, or even share a romantic evening at home watching DVDs. But I don’t think anything long-term would suit me.
Being single is a lifestyle, not a phase. It’s not like puberty where your voice starts squeaking then goes baritone on you. There is commitment involved, though not of a romantic kind. And since it’s a lifestyle, there is always a “downside” to it. My being single seems to irk a lot of my married friends. That being single is such an empty life, and that being single is equivalent to being too immature to keep a relationship. I hate it when that kind of thinking happens.
Sandy, a friend of mine, likes to say that people who are frightened at the prospect of being alone should get a life. I don’t particularly agree with his view because the whole point of getting married, or even being single, is to be happy. I’m happy. I enjoy being single and I don’t need a romantic relationship to define my happiness. I have a lot of friends who have had romantic relationships before but are now single, and are enjoying life. They’re happy.
On the other hand, I also have married friends who relish being married. The trick is not thinking that being single is better than being married (or else, we’d have more priests and nuns!). It’s finding happiness and pleasure at being single (Or married, whichever the case may be). That, perhaps, is the question that needs to be answered, or else, being single is going to suck.
For me, it’s giving my impulsive side free rein. I get to do my own thing, without having to worry anyone about it. I can go to the beach on my mountain bike. I can get home from work and just take in a movie, or go to the Lounge and hang out. On weekends, I can just wake up and hang out in front of the TV. In the evening, I can take in a movie or I could go to a poetry reading. Or attend a multilevel marketing seminar for the heck of it.
But it’s freedom with a healthy measure of responsibility. You’re a not kid left with a fridge full of goodies. You’re a 26-year old guy with a list of groceries for the whole month, bills to pay, a room to clean, underwear to wash, getting sick without someone to look out for you, and, in my case, an oblivious plant to water. These things keep you grounded --- they keep me grounded. These are the things that commercials don’t show.
Another good thing about being single is that people sort of depend on you. On occasion, I’ve been: the official “shoulder to cry on”; an amateur marriage counselor; at one time, a private detective; an escort to the prom; a pretend boyfriend (for girl friends who can’t say no to a guy they don’t like); a favorite companion to grocery shopping; and the occasional nursemaid to friends with broken bones or hearts. But it’s okay, because I enjoy the company, the camaraderie. Even being needed has a warm effect on us, single people.
My parents do get fussy over my lifestyle. They would cajole me saying, “When are you going to get a girl, Jake?” or “When are we going to meet your better half?” And I retort, “I’m having the time of my life! I am happy!” At least, that’s what I keep telling them. I’ve also been best man four times, and I’m not complaining. I’ve got a great pad, a great job, a social and emotional support group of friends, an active sex life, a regular gym to go to, and six brothers (all married) who think that I should stick to being single because married life doesn’t suit me. I don’t mind. I even I agree with them. Except during Christmas when all their kids expect gifts from their favorite uncle.
[Something I did for something that I now enjoy doing... I did some rewriting so that it would be presentable here... hehehehehe :) ]
All my brothers are married. The youngest, Robbie, got married in August of last year. He was 21 when he got married. I am 26, and I live alone in a 3rd floor bachelor’s pad in the center of Cebu City. I’ve got a laundrywoman who complains about the pains of being a single mother, and a building manager that who rants about the noise coming from my room, in the middle of the night. I’m an editor for two online newsletters with subscribers from across the globe. I’ve got a pet cactus that I call Berto (although I don’t even know what kind of cactus it is --- it's small, knobby, and has no spines at all!). I’ve got a mountain bike (5-speed, I think, I don’t know.) that I use to go to work. It’s a ten-minute bike ride to work, through rows of boardinghouses and commercial buildings.
At the end of the day, I hang out at the Lizard Lounge, with a couple of old college buddies and friends I made from companies I used to work at. We talk about work, about the girls we’re going out with at the moment, what positions make for the best intimate experience, old college jokes, random farts, and about going to Toledo for some wall climbing on some far-off weekend.
Then I go home. If I’m not drunk, I turn on some Bob Marley or RATM, depending on my mood, and log in some writing. I also write for a local mag, just for practice and for the fun of it. Around 3AM, I turn in for the day.
I bet that you’re thinking, I’ve got a pretty lame, if not pathetic, lifestyle. I’d tell you to your face that it wouldn’t surprise me if you were a little bit jealous of my place in the sun. I’ve been living alone since I was 19, and I’m pretty sure that I’ve had enough practice. Acquaintances and friends have come up to me and said, “Man, it’s soooo cool that you live alone. And single? ! Think of all the parties and girls --- Man, that’s cooool!” But I think that expression a wee bit childish.
The reality is, a lot of people, especially among my peers, are wondering why I’m not married yet --- You know what I mean. My older brother, Kenny, says that being single is simply a phase everyone goes through before they start thinking about marriage and that what I’m doing right now is actually just playing the field before I do settle down to spread my seed. I really don’t agree with that. Sure, every now and then, I would want to have someone to go with to some fancy place for dinner, perhaps a movie, or even share a romantic evening at home watching DVDs. But I don’t think anything long-term would suit me.
Being single is a lifestyle, not a phase. It’s not like puberty where your voice starts squeaking then goes baritone on you. There is commitment involved, though not of a romantic kind. And since it’s a lifestyle, there is always a “downside” to it. My being single seems to irk a lot of my married friends. That being single is such an empty life, and that being single is equivalent to being too immature to keep a relationship. I hate it when that kind of thinking happens.
Sandy, a friend of mine, likes to say that people who are frightened at the prospect of being alone should get a life. I don’t particularly agree with his view because the whole point of getting married, or even being single, is to be happy. I’m happy. I enjoy being single and I don’t need a romantic relationship to define my happiness. I have a lot of friends who have had romantic relationships before but are now single, and are enjoying life. They’re happy.
On the other hand, I also have married friends who relish being married. The trick is not thinking that being single is better than being married (or else, we’d have more priests and nuns!). It’s finding happiness and pleasure at being single (Or married, whichever the case may be). That, perhaps, is the question that needs to be answered, or else, being single is going to suck.
For me, it’s giving my impulsive side free rein. I get to do my own thing, without having to worry anyone about it. I can go to the beach on my mountain bike. I can get home from work and just take in a movie, or go to the Lounge and hang out. On weekends, I can just wake up and hang out in front of the TV. In the evening, I can take in a movie or I could go to a poetry reading. Or attend a multilevel marketing seminar for the heck of it.
But it’s freedom with a healthy measure of responsibility. You’re a not kid left with a fridge full of goodies. You’re a 26-year old guy with a list of groceries for the whole month, bills to pay, a room to clean, underwear to wash, getting sick without someone to look out for you, and, in my case, an oblivious plant to water. These things keep you grounded --- they keep me grounded. These are the things that commercials don’t show.
Another good thing about being single is that people sort of depend on you. On occasion, I’ve been: the official “shoulder to cry on”; an amateur marriage counselor; at one time, a private detective; an escort to the prom; a pretend boyfriend (for girl friends who can’t say no to a guy they don’t like); a favorite companion to grocery shopping; and the occasional nursemaid to friends with broken bones or hearts. But it’s okay, because I enjoy the company, the camaraderie. Even being needed has a warm effect on us, single people.
My parents do get fussy over my lifestyle. They would cajole me saying, “When are you going to get a girl, Jake?” or “When are we going to meet your better half?” And I retort, “I’m having the time of my life! I am happy!” At least, that’s what I keep telling them. I’ve also been best man four times, and I’m not complaining. I’ve got a great pad, a great job, a social and emotional support group of friends, an active sex life, a regular gym to go to, and six brothers (all married) who think that I should stick to being single because married life doesn’t suit me. I don’t mind. I even I agree with them. Except during Christmas when all their kids expect gifts from their favorite uncle.
[Something I did for something that I now enjoy doing... I did some rewriting so that it would be presentable here... hehehehehe :) ]
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